What began as an innocuous search on Youtube for a fun, quippy music video link to put at the beginning of what was supposed to be a rant about my lack of athletic prowess has turned into a rabbit hole of horrifying fascination as to just what Bowling For Soup, the band that shares the name of the blogpost is…

Prior Knowledge

Somehow I had gotten it in my had that Bowling For Soup were one of the bands that had a track on the Hannah Montana CD (alongside The Click Five and Everlife) but upon actually finding evidence of this theory I am coming up empty.

I think one time they sang a rendition of happy birthday?

I don’t know.

I guess the origins of my knowledge are an enigma but this section was really to say that I was only aware of them in a small and out of context way and not familiar with anything else they had ever done.

Onwards…

The First Video

1985

First of all, this is the first time I’m seeing any of the band members physical appearances. I didn’t expect that the lead singer would look like Johnathan Groff meets… someone else. Or maybe just off-brand Jonathan Groff.

Second of all, so this song is just off-brand Stacy’s Mom? Or I guess since it was released before it’s the OG Stacy’s Mom? Doesn’t matter. Both are about objectifying older woman. Which isn’t to say women of any age shouldn’t be desired. But something tells me Bowling For Soup wasn’t beyond the scope of sexualizing a woman.

I have to imagine their music sent this housewife into a fugue state that compelled her to rip off her clothes and writher around on top of the hood of a car all sexy like. Then, the balding, bulbous middle-aged ball and chain (the Mister) comes out of the house and yells at her. And just like the, the spell is broken. But not for me. No. That moment is burned into my brain for all eternity now.

Second Video

Girl All the Bad Guys Want

“creaming over tough guys…”

a lyric from the song

‘Nuff said…

The Wikipedia Page

After a very quick skim I see that they did something with Phineas and Ferb and did a cover of Stacy’s Mom. No mention of any affiliation with Hannah Montana though…

Also good news. They’re playing a concert in St. Louis on Saturday. Talk about luck.

I, then, proceeded to down a rabbit hole and search The Click Five (who did have a track on the Hannah Montana CD, Pop Princess), Stacy’s Mom (originally performed by Fountains of Wayne), and Cimorelli (who are apparently vehement Catholics).

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Lesson: Knowledge is power and I am a tyrant.