shortasianman

For what?!

A saying my co-worker and I have become quite fond of saying to each other.

“Dude I ended up drinking way too many beers last night. And for what?!”

me, making horrible choices.

“My sister and I ended driving to Taco Bell last night at like 11 at night. And for what?!”

me, but this time it’s a different horrible choices and I’ve roped my next of kin into it.

“I just ran those coffee mugs through the dishwasher only to have them get used again the very next day. And for what?!”

me, making a good choice but being lazy about it.

The implication of this phrase being that we, as humans, often put a lot of effort into something only to have pay-off that, in hindsight, isn’t really worth it. What was it all for?

This is why I’m a firm believer in not making my bed. Why expend all this energy into folding the corners of my bed sheet and fluffing the duvet cover only to come crawling back to it that very night? In middle school, when my mom really decided to crack the whip on bed making (she ran a tight ship), I found a loophole and started forming the habit of sleeping on top of my bed covers with a throw blanket, rendering the whole bed set useless. I would then wake up, toss the throw blanket carelessly to the end of the bed and leave my bed chambers. I am so smart, I would say to myself as I skipped brushing my teeth like I did every morning up until the 9th grade when I realized I didn’t want gingivitis and loved using my teeth to eat popcorn.

A more recent example of this might be the virtual theatre event I spent the last couple months constructing for my alma mater.

The poster I created that will never see the light of day, save for this blogpost here with it’s whole three readers (I see you, I value you, I am also a ruthless businessman constantly striving for more) so basically it will never see the light of day.

PlayWalk is an outdoor theatre event that’s been going on for eight years by the Creative Writing Department, aka the single entity that is the kind and generous soul of Kate Aspengren who knows that theatre is amazing even if no one wants to admit it. Sometimes the school also likes to ride on it’s coattails and promote it as a student-run event (which it is) orchestrated by the benevolent theatre department (which it is NOT), and even fewer times does Coe like to acknowledge that in a pandemic students managed to come together and produce a socially-distanced, safe event on top of navigating Zoom university and Iowa stupidity.

Tasteful Shrek reference for quite an unsavory person.

I digress.

PlayWalk typically occurs in September, the virtual event wasn’t completed until November, we (Kate) sent the materials to the marketing department and we (still just Kate, bless her heart) waited for them to let us know when it was ready to publicize. We (this time Kate and I) found out today that the department had posted the virtual festival video in December on their YouTube channel, unlisted, and failed to let us know about it until now. They also failed to use the lovely poster I photoshopped and basically plagiarized from a Canva template.

You must understand that when a video is published on YouTube but marked as unlisted this means that it can only be found be clicking on a direct URL address to said video. It is not hanging out on their channel homepage nor advertised anywhere on their website. So how might one access it then? Short answer, they can’t… unless you know me and I give you the link right here, right now:

I already made this comment elsewhere but I think it’s very fitting that my name, an alum versus a student who actually currently goes to the school, is in the thumbnail for this video. Long live me.

Now I’m not saying there isn’t/wasn’t anything more important going on at the time, nor am I trying to imply that this video would change lives or make any significant impact on anyone but as an unemployed creative writer it wouldn’t hurt my resume if I could point (figuratively) to a video on an accredited institution’s YouTube channel and say “yes, I made this and it was recognized by said institution with pride and not, in fact, hidden away somewhere riddled in shame.”

So, no, you can’t find great content about Liam Neeson and bubblegum-related homicide on their channel but you can find not one but TWO videos about personified foods finding each other and becoming great roommates. It’s not what we want, but it’s what we deserve.

On the reals though, I’m not actually that bitter… or I won’t be once 24-hours have passed for me to process this. Like, I don’t actually have any ill-will towards the school about this (on other matters, however…) and I don’t think they did this to slight the theatre community or intentionally fuck me, an alum, up the ass. This was just what was on my mind today and I needed a topic to write about because it’s Tuesday. That’s right. All you are to me— all anyone is to me— is a potential source for comedic writing. An object. You’re nothing but a fart.

Watch the whole video if you want, it’s entertaining enough.

Lesson: So what’s the point? Point is, even if it’s not on the front page of Give A Shit Magazine I did in fact put effort and time into this project and I want you all to know.

P.S. We (actually just Kate, of course) are contacting the department about maybe making PlayWalk a little more public, in which case, if they comply, I completely rescind all hate I had for them in this post at all 🙂

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