Haha, no but seriously, NSFW content warning up ahead.

In a country where girls wear shirts under their summer dresses to appear modest but also sell shirts where the sleeves are longer than the shirt hem, South Korea never fails to surprise.

This weekend I went to the Trick Eye Museum, an attraction that combines augmented reality with optical illusions.

It had your typical “oh my gosh, me the midget is miraculously taller than my giant friend” warped perception room, and the classic “look, I’m planking in mid-air, cause kids still do that these days, right?” exhibit, among others. Heck, it even had an ice museum.

But that all pales in comparison to the Love Museum…

Patrons are greeted at the entrance with a handful of museum rules:

Described as an “eroticism and art collaboration” and “sensual artwork which can stimulate your inner desire,” I would like to say that “sensual” is a generous way of putting it.

Did I mention the museum also offered its guests special glasses to take photos in? You know, just incase you were too shy to show your face next to a giant pink penis jizz-blasting a stone wall.

Honey, if you can’t proudly grin in a picture like this, this ain’t the museum for you.

24 hours later, I went to the Gyeongbukgung Palace and wore traditional hanbok (again!).

Gone were the lewd pictures of voluptuous women. Not a phallic sculpture in sight. I was surrounded by delicate lace and the gentle caress of a cherry blossom across my cheek.

Let’s not forget that a paragraph ago you were looking at a photo me getting a butt massage from a naked woman.

This is also a country where you can get a 200,000 won fine for not using the right garbage bags BUT, when you take your garbage out to be collected, you just pile it up on the curb. Thus, when you’re walking down the street and you find a piece of lint in your pocket, instead of disposing of it in a garbage bin, you can just drop it on top of the mound of trash closest to you on either side of the street.

Or what about the fact that everyone here wears masks to “protect” themselves from the pollution BUT they have no problem with coughing directly onto their hand before going in for a handshake?

I’m not saying the US is any better (um, I still don’t understand the point of Daylight Savings Time. Arizona doesn’t do it and they’re doing just fine.) I’m just saying it makes you think.

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Lesson: I guess you could say that after arriving at this realization and doing some reflection on this new found enlightenment, I am… born again?